Sunday, April 5, 2009

Responsibility, Judgment, and Guilt

Responsibility, Judgment, and Guilt

I have been looking deeply at the role of Responsibility in my life for many years now. I see how I am responsible for absolutely everything and that I am the creator of all the circumstances that occur within my sphere of awareness. That does not mean that I can hide my head in the sand and look the other way at the atrocities that are being committed around the world and in my own back yard. On the contrary, I am responsible to take what I see and understand it to such a degree that I can transform it and transmute it by holding it to the light of Truth. Of course, there is just so much that I can take on as an individual, but the wonderful thing is, I am not a mere individual. I am part of a collective consciousness that is waking up to our responsibility. Not that we vilify and create more antagonism, us against them, but that we hold the highest and most objective viewpoint in the Light of compassion and love. Then we step out of the way to allow what we are holding to manifest within the realms of creation. Our job is to be vigilant and undaunting.

The problem comes when we begin to judge ourselves as well as others. Then, there appears a separation between our ideal and the seeming reality. In that moment of judgment, when we see ourselves in the mirror of Truth, the specter of our reflection opens the doorway to the insidious usurper of self-esteem, guilt. I do not measure up to the responsibility. My standards and expectations are too high. I become a failure in my own eyes. I no longer see my life as a learning process to help me expand my conscious awareness. Guilt becomes a quagmire that sucks me into the bog of despair.

But the scale of judgment weighs both, or all, sides in the balance. True judgment is impartial to our foibles and our mistakes. It is too busy keeping the delicate equilibrium between opposing forces. It lifts one out of the morass of self-indulgence into clarity of purpose. There is a sense of peace in that stasis. However, since we are creatures of movement, we invariably slip into chaos and the work begins again to achieve that balance and harmony.

Unless we devote our every breath to remaining unmoved by all the influences that bombard us, we ride the sea-saw of life, tipping this way and that. From my perspective, we need these unsettling influences to give us the practice to bring that balance back to the fulcrum point of stillness.

How hard it is. How often I fall down. I see all the judgment and guilt trying to gain a foothold in my self-perception. Nevertheless, this is the moment of choice when I can exercise my responsibility to my highest Self.

I am called upon, now, to be true to that.

Prema Rose

1 comment:

A Week's Worth of Women said...

Prema, this is so beautifully written. i think you should submit it to something. Yoga Plus Joyful Living, comes to mind. you know other spiritual publications, i'm sure. Patricia