Thursday, July 16, 2009

Questions, an Essay.

The channel, Benu, has said, “How many times have we answered your prayers, only to have you say, ‘Wait, I am not ready.’ We bring a wondrous partner forward for you to meet and you say, ‘not this morning, my hair is a mess”. Women in the audience twitter nervously. It does sound funny, but kind of familiar, and it makes us wonder ………?

Three years ago I was single and the house that I was living in was about to foreclosed on. I had to move but had no where to go. Every day I prayed and I heard these words, “It is being prepared for you, dear one.” Life felt very challenging. I wrote a fictional piece that I called “The Perfect Day”. In it I described where I lived, my gardens, my life partner ~ whom I called Buddy since I had not met him yet ~ and I described what sounded like a dreamy day of bliss. One week later I found an adorable farm house on five acres in the same neighborhood where I was living, and it was for sale in my price range. An amazing, wondrous gift from heaven was a reasonable explanation, every cell in my body was grateful !! So I bought it and planted a garden.

I worked my job, mowed my new yard and rode horses with my friends while I waited for the angels to manifest “Buddy”. Weeks, months, years went by and very few men, single, eligible men, walked through my life ~ and none that were ready for a relationship. I continued my prayers of gratitude.

And now here is a fellow, introduced by a dear mutual friend; we email me for months before he travels to Colorado to meet me. He is wise, thoughtful and a sincerely gentle soul and, from what I can tell, a wonderful human being. And is ready to be in a relationship …. with ME! When he looks me straight in the eye and softly tells me that he has been waiting nine years to find me, well, my heart flutters wildly!

BUT he lives in Wisconsin. He has shared custody of his two children, older teenagers that live a few hours away from him in Illinois. Over and over, and over and over I ask “What am I to do with this?” I can almost hear Benu chuckling.

Finally I sit and pray, “What is the next thing that I need to know or do to be in a state of Divine Grace?”

And this is what I heard this morning:

Be still. Enjoy this moment. Things will become clear and you will know, without any doubt, what to do next. Patience, dear one. Patience.
Have much Joy!!! It will certainly be worth waiting for, as you know!

….Write
..... be with horses ~ on all levels
…talk with Melody
……connect with that woman you met and her trainer
…don’t sit on your butt, you have things to do
..life is more than just paying the bills !!! …please move out of that paradigm, you know this to be true.
…..We Love You 

And so it is, for now.
Years ago, when my sister handed me Lakota’s lead rope, she said, “this horse will teach you patience”
It is amazing to me how all lessons are intertwined…….

* annette

No comments: