Forgiveness & Not Judging

Two tools I have to remind myself to use on this journey thru life…forgiveness and not judging. What is most amazing is how often there are opportunities to apply one of them….or both. Also amazing is how often I forget to use them and usually when I need them the most. Another point is how I can seemingly apply either one many many times to the same issue, person or situation.

It becomes a matter of being practical after awhile. It is easier to forgive then hold on to animosity. I have a cousin who other than my mother would not talk to any other relative for reasons that are clear to her and no one else. Things that happened 25 years ago are still very real and very worth not forgiving. This makes sense to her. As I have come to learn in my own process…we always have really good reasons to be angry, hurt, mad, and revengeful. But I have also come to see it really doesn’t matter. As a spiritual book I study says “do you want to be right or happy”. And it does get easier and easier till a situation arises that requires a deeper letting go, a deeper level of forgiveness, a bigger me I don’t always have access to in the moment.

Not judging is an endless pursuit. How engrained and entwined it is in so many parts of our lives. How subtle and how it can be so woven into conversation, perceptions and daily interactions. As I start to unwind judgments I notice how tenuous they are anyway. Most are based on a situation that in all honesty I might have misread. Or even if I haven’t maybe it was a bad day for that person. Or they may have changed. Endless possibilities as to how easy it is to re-perceive…..think again…to let them be free. I know it is a better way to live. I lean in this direction, some days swimming with the stream and it all falls into place and some days I get turned around and can’t figure out what’s what. It is more work on those days. I get to apply these two principles to myself if I’m lucky.

These are tools I pray I get better with. They come in handy nearly everyday. They give me encouragement and strength on the path of discovery, a path I am very passionate about.

Mary