This Morning I Got Out My Flute

This morning I got out my flute to play for Lillian. A tune came, something new, one I have not played before. I played it over and over until I could whistle it. I picked up my rattle and began to rattle while I whistled. I found myself coming up the front walk to the house at 74 Chestnut. Then I was on the stairs, all the while whistling and rattling. I went up to the space on the second floor between the rooms singing the spirit song. I went to the room where Lillian was in bed sleeping in that coma/sleep state. She was restless. I sang my spirit song to her hoping she might hear, recognize it, and perhaps feel comforted.

I heard a deep sigh when suddenly there she was standing by the side of the bed with light shining right through her. Next to her on the bed I could see her body gasping in long irregular death rattles. We looked at each other in surprise. Lillian smiled and we both looked around. What we saw was astonishing… it was as if there were veils and veils within the reality of her room. I could see the bed and out through the window, I saw someone sitting in a chair but that was vague. There was a veil between that and where we were. Here we could see better, clearer. Her eyes had worlds shining out from them. Her heart was huge and shimmering green as it pulsed.

For some reason another veil lifted and we could see clearer than before. Everything shone and sparkled. We were out of time and place. Before us a pathway lead upward into a sky that was brighter with stars than I have ever seen. Without words, just a knowing, we began the journey to the stars… she ahead of me. We moved past beautiful suns, stars, moons. We came to a glistening ocean of light, stood on the shore in wonder looking out at this amazing sight. We saw forms of light moving towards us in greeting, acknowledging our presence… At this point Lillian stopped and put up her hand (she was in complete control). She turned to me and said, “I will see you down now.” We turned around and came back down into the bedroom where the veils were gone. It was ordinary. Usual. Except for Lillian who sat beside her body in her light being.

I looked at her with questions I had no right to ask but she answered what seemed right. She said she knew her body was close to death. She said that she now knew how to let it go and she was ready. But she also said that she had so loved being on Earth with her loved ones that she found it difficult to leave them... harder than anything she had ever done. She let me know it was time for me to go but allowed me to look into her world eyes one more time. She was so incredibly loving I came away feeling I could never be angry or hurtful to anyone again in my life.

I will continue to play songs in vigil for her today. Jesse