Thursday, June 17, 2010


I could say “I am so in love with life on this planet and consider this is a very exciting time to be alive right now.” I could say, “Half the time I am fighting down anxiety attacks and the other half I am in a state of bliss.” And all of these would be true.

It is hard to turn on the TV and watch the oil spill in the Gulf Coast. It breaks my heart and makes me feel sad and hopeless.
I have a strong spiritual connection and I do choose to believe that all is in Divine Right Timing and something good will come of this horrible disaster. The President of the Sierra Club was on the news this morning urging President Obama to begin talks on leading our nation away from oil dependency. That is the most hopeful news I have heard lately and aligns with my own point of view. Finally!!

Being with my horse, just standing beside her, brings me great peace. When I walk out through my green grassy lawn to feed the horses I look over their pasture to the corn field, growing by the minute with all the rain that we had this week-end. I look over the corn field to the trees along the Platte River and thank God to be so close to a water way, even if at the moment it has spilled over its borders. I look over the trees and see new snow on the jagged silhouette of the Rocky Mountains.

For twenty years I have been aware of the Mayan Calendar and 2012 debate. Will it be the end of the world or the beginning of a new way of living? I dread those mornings when my first thoughts are filled with insecurity and worry. Where can I find the strength to live through this day?

For the past six months I have been enrolled in an Equine Gestalt Coaching class. I am as high as kite with this program and all the potential it has for helping people. I love those mornings when all I am aware of is the sun streaming in and the birds singing right outside my window. I am not alone.

The tension comes from balancing the anxiety with the bliss. I feel as though I am on the razor’s edge. Looking down into despair is dangerous but it is hard to pull my eyes up to see the peaceful vision that, intuitively I know, lies ahead of me. Sometimes I want to leave my body as I watch my racing brain and thundering heart come to a “Y” in the road, careening out of control. Will they decide to take the turn together or will the split in the road tear me apart? It takes incredible strength and focused energy to breathe deeply and direct this forward momentum. Sometimes I can’t get there for a long time. But then I do. I always do, eventually.

Trust. Faith. Patience. Love. Vision.
Moonlight on the mountains.
Promise for a new day.

* annette

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I will continue reading. I wish I would have read the BLOG earlier. It is wonderful. I am grateful for insite and emotion strength I find in these women. It is wonderful. Melodye Free