Children?

I had never really wanted to have children. I had never spent much time with them and, frankly, didn’t want to. I was an actress, full of myself and my career. However, life has a way of turning things around and up-side-down.

The first inkling that this part of my journey would be forever changed, began when I was living on the island of Ibiza, Spain. I had an art gallery in the two thousand year old town. I was working on the cartoon book that would eventually become the animated film, and I was immersed in my spiritual studies. Someone gave me a small booklet written by the Divine Mother, Mira, who had taken over the running of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Pondecherry , India. She had envisioned and commenced the building of an international community named Auroville. This was to be a place without borders, dedicated to the children of the future who were taking birth.

These children are to usher in a time of higher consciousness, which will change the cellular structure and DNA of the human race. Sri Aurobindo and Mother termed it, “The decent of the Supramental”. Now, we know these children to be the Indigo and Crystal children.

The booklet was one in a series of publications which were printed quarterly. They were all entitled, “…. = One”. This particular one was, “Child = One” My whole thought paradigm was shattered. Gone were the worn out refrains of, “How can I bring children into this miserable existence?” Instead, I felt charged with a mission to engage the creative dance of life into manifestation by intentionally channeling the spirit of my child to be born in Auroville.

Perhaps this was my biological clock going off with loud alarms, but for me it was an earth shattering revelation. The most amazing creative act that I could possibly achieve was to consciously birth a child. Later, I was told that Mother pulled that publication, saying that the world wasn’t ready for it. For me, it rocked my world.

It was a circuitous route to India, stopping for a year in England while we went to the Gurdjieff school, and then traveling overland across Europe and the Mid-East for six months. All the while, I had the presence of my emerging child with me, nurturing me and me nurturing her. Actually, I had been told in Spain that I would have a Leo boy. We got pregnant in Greece on the way. It was November, so I would be due in late July. Yes, a Leo boy!

I had heard stories of the awful birthing practices in the hospitals in Europe and the West. I wanted none of it. I would have a midwife and home birth, as natural as I could get.

Finally arriving in Auroville, after many adventures on the way, Hugh and I began to build our nest. I started prenatal care with an English midwife and was deliriously happy. In an unfortunate turn of events, I got a bad case of dysentery in my seventh month and began to lose a lot of weight. I was very weak when I went into labor, three weeks early. Oh, my! We were in Cancer.

Suryananda was born breech, fully aware and looking around. It was the most beautiful birth! I had actually had a dream a couple of weeks before that the baby was a girl and there she was, so beautiful, luminescent, and a tiny five pounds.

My life as a mother had begun. With her birth, came so many lessons and understandings, and a desire to share what I had learned with other birthing families. When Hugh Michael was born, I knew that I wanted to be a midwife. How would that be possible? All I knew in my life was my work in the theater and my spiritual work.

As fate would have it, I was led serendipitously to my career as a midwife in Boulder, Colorado. I had two more children, Mira and Noah. I practiced for twenty-five years and helped mothers deliver over 850 babies. Now, I have retired and my children have grown. I have four grandchildren and I have taken care of many other children. It is amazing to think that, so many years ago, I had no wish for children in my life. I am blessed with an abundance of them.

Prema Rose