Tuesday, August 19, 2008


My husband’s aorta had burst while he was backpacking in Yellowstone Park. It was dusk as he was trout fishing in a stream and had just caught a fish. He fell back into the water, but got up to release his fish, giving him life, both of them I think. The aneurysm had cut off the blood flow into his left leg, causing him to have to learn how to walk again. He was two weeks in Montana in intensive care and two weeks in Boulder in a rehab hospital. During the time he was rehabbing I went to visit a man who channeled Jonah, an ancient being with a thick accent. The man’s wife had to be present to help translate the thick accent. Nothing had been mentioned about my husband’s condition as he lay in the hospital, but Jonah picked up on a very old past life we had had together. My husband had been my physically deformed child in his left leg. To get around in his limited life, he held on to my left leg and I pulled him around. This was a huge dynamic we were still carrying out in this life, how I organized and kept this life flowing and moving for him. Jonah said profoundly, “this marriage was never meant to be permanent, if you stay married, you will both be dead in l0 years.” This was something I knew to be true on some deep level of my being, but feelings of low self-worth always negated them. I left the reading laughing and crying at the same time. I was laughing because my feelings had been validated and crying because I was also heartbroken.

I finally got the courage to end the marriage, the most difficult task I’ve ever had to do in this life. My husband died about l4 years after the reading, never truly understanding why I had had to leave.

Soon after that reading I had a bodywork session with one of the greats in our town. When I went in I had felt a twinge in my left lower abdomen, it persisted, until finally I mentioned it to the therapist. He asked me if he could put his hands on the area. As soon as he did I started seeing the past life of me pulling my husband, as a little boy, around with my left leg. Now understand, I had never experienced “seeing” a past life before myself. This one was so clear, I felt the torment and heartache of that life. The therapist went on to see a more complete picture of how my husband in that life had been my mother in this life. He had found out I had an affair with another man and stabbed me with a hook into my reproductive organs. Interestingly, in this lifetime I was given the trauma of being sexually abused in my early years as my mother was close by, in her ignorance, choosing not to see or protect me. Was this characteristic a carry-over, a still unconscious anger from long before.

Having the gift of becoming aware of this one particular past-life has been part of my unfolding as a whole person in present time.

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